Most girls when they get mad at a guy are just like omg you’re so stupid why are you being a jerk?

Me: Why the fuck would you say that to me?  Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?  Can you just be a normal fucking person for once?  I swear to God I am going to slit your throat. 

I am prone to violence.  And I have a very bad temper and a colorful vocabulary.